Today I had a mixed moods....
MORNING ... At School... OMG.... All these past four days of my work & our play practice ended like anything... It's a great disappointment for me....
Normally I never cry at school over petty things .... But Today I didn't had my lunch.... I cried for so long a time.... :-( ...
Everytime while I read MATILDA by Roald Dahl....
I would think that he would have written something which makes the reader to learn some lessons... Plays and Pranks should be there to make our lives more colourful and enjoyable. But everything should be under a control & to be limited to a certain extent.
But in Matilda, Matilda played pranks on whoever teases her.... She enjoyed doing pranks & taking revenge.
So I changed her character to....
A very good, lovely, studious girl, who listens to her friendly teacher & lovable principal & controls her anger & also end her pranks. At last, she finds happiness only in helping each and every one who teased her and also helps every single person, who is in need of it.
I wrote the dialogues for the changed story of Matilda and our teacher asked us to perform for 10 minutes. All the characters, such as Mechanic Father (Monish Raam,), Mother (Shaalini), Teacher (Mrittika), Principal (Appasamy), Brother (Mihir), Librarian (Varsha), Neighbour (Krishna), Appasamy as a parrot (he lends his voice) were decided & all of them asked me to perform as Matilda. I agreed.
We practiced yesterday. But could not make every single one to be serious. More of playing than practicing for our play.
But today.... For every single thing, one of my friends shouted like anything and he used unparliamentary words... might be those words sounds me unparliamentary... For them... many Cinemas , heroes, comedians use those words without any shame... but whenever I hear those kind of words... I always lose my cool... I never used to those words... that too in an angry shouting voice... I could not bear...
I repeatedly asked him not to behave like that... but he kept on doing that again and again... at last I said...Enough is enough .... He asked me twice whether I'm coming for the play... as they said they have changed the play from Matilda to Christmas Carol.
I really lost my patience and hurt really very very bad. I kept quiet. Didn't utter any single word. Normally Whenever I lose my cool, I would shout... I don't want this to happen these days and didn't open my mouth. THEY ALL LEFT ME FOR CHRISTMAS CAROL PRACTICE.
There were only 6 girls including me in my class. But no one stood by me that time... Really could not understand... I was left alone. Is asking not to treat others bad, or asking not to talk bad in anyway is wrong???!!! Hurt & felt really bad...
I went to the library and read books... but cried when I was alone in the class. Even when they returned back to class... no one including my 4 friends (Fatema was absent today) spoke to me...
Am I Wrong in anyway?
To me ... I could not bear those mocking actions, pointing fingers & hands while speaking in anger or shouting, also those unbearable words that has become common these days...
I could not change them ... also I could not change me to bear all those nonsenses... using unrefined words and degrading one might be common for others but not for me. I'm not for it... I could not imagine such a scene... I thought all the girls were my friends and they would support me & would give strength to me... But they too have kicked me out for no valid reason.
One thing Amma used to say...
" The world would be full of all wanted and unwanted, positive & negative characters... We have to take only the positive behaviours & habits to our heart. Merely for the sake of others if we follow bad things, our value system & culture would be questioned. It would spoil our reputation totally. Beware of Negatives....
Even a single person have some positives & some negatives in him. Even we might have... but the negatives should be kept under control & always one should try to avoid those characters that wakeup once in a while. When we keep on practicing this regularly, only then our character would get shaped & we would definetely become a lovable & a perfect & a well groomed person with superb culture & character ".
What hurts me more is ... Even my friends could not understand me.
After narrating the whole episode this evening, Amma & Appa told me... " Don't worry dear... Your friends would definitely understand you. Might be they don't have left with ample time this afternoon for any discussion. They might knew that you are no wrong & would surely speak to you tomorrow. Leave everything to the Divine & be cool. Elango thatha & Viji patti came. So go inside & have fun with them".
Yes ... They are my close friends.... They would surely understand me....
Thank you so much for your words my dear parents. It gives strength to me.
Let me hope for the best.
MORNING ... At School... OMG.... All these past four days of my work & our play practice ended like anything... It's a great disappointment for me....
Normally I never cry at school over petty things .... But Today I didn't had my lunch.... I cried for so long a time.... :-( ...
Everytime while I read MATILDA by Roald Dahl....
I would think that he would have written something which makes the reader to learn some lessons... Plays and Pranks should be there to make our lives more colourful and enjoyable. But everything should be under a control & to be limited to a certain extent.
But in Matilda, Matilda played pranks on whoever teases her.... She enjoyed doing pranks & taking revenge.
So I changed her character to....
A very good, lovely, studious girl, who listens to her friendly teacher & lovable principal & controls her anger & also end her pranks. At last, she finds happiness only in helping each and every one who teased her and also helps every single person, who is in need of it.
I wrote the dialogues for the changed story of Matilda and our teacher asked us to perform for 10 minutes. All the characters, such as Mechanic Father (Monish Raam,), Mother (Shaalini), Teacher (Mrittika), Principal (Appasamy), Brother (Mihir), Librarian (Varsha), Neighbour (Krishna), Appasamy as a parrot (he lends his voice) were decided & all of them asked me to perform as Matilda. I agreed.
We practiced yesterday. But could not make every single one to be serious. More of playing than practicing for our play.
But today.... For every single thing, one of my friends shouted like anything and he used unparliamentary words... might be those words sounds me unparliamentary... For them... many Cinemas , heroes, comedians use those words without any shame... but whenever I hear those kind of words... I always lose my cool... I never used to those words... that too in an angry shouting voice... I could not bear...
I repeatedly asked him not to behave like that... but he kept on doing that again and again... at last I said...Enough is enough .... He asked me twice whether I'm coming for the play... as they said they have changed the play from Matilda to Christmas Carol.
I really lost my patience and hurt really very very bad. I kept quiet. Didn't utter any single word. Normally Whenever I lose my cool, I would shout... I don't want this to happen these days and didn't open my mouth. THEY ALL LEFT ME FOR CHRISTMAS CAROL PRACTICE.
There were only 6 girls including me in my class. But no one stood by me that time... Really could not understand... I was left alone. Is asking not to treat others bad, or asking not to talk bad in anyway is wrong???!!! Hurt & felt really bad...
I went to the library and read books... but cried when I was alone in the class. Even when they returned back to class... no one including my 4 friends (Fatema was absent today) spoke to me...
Am I Wrong in anyway?
To me ... I could not bear those mocking actions, pointing fingers & hands while speaking in anger or shouting, also those unbearable words that has become common these days...
I could not change them ... also I could not change me to bear all those nonsenses... using unrefined words and degrading one might be common for others but not for me. I'm not for it... I could not imagine such a scene... I thought all the girls were my friends and they would support me & would give strength to me... But they too have kicked me out for no valid reason.
One thing Amma used to say...
" The world would be full of all wanted and unwanted, positive & negative characters... We have to take only the positive behaviours & habits to our heart. Merely for the sake of others if we follow bad things, our value system & culture would be questioned. It would spoil our reputation totally. Beware of Negatives....
Even a single person have some positives & some negatives in him. Even we might have... but the negatives should be kept under control & always one should try to avoid those characters that wakeup once in a while. When we keep on practicing this regularly, only then our character would get shaped & we would definetely become a lovable & a perfect & a well groomed person with superb culture & character ".
What hurts me more is ... Even my friends could not understand me.
After narrating the whole episode this evening, Amma & Appa told me... " Don't worry dear... Your friends would definitely understand you. Might be they don't have left with ample time this afternoon for any discussion. They might knew that you are no wrong & would surely speak to you tomorrow. Leave everything to the Divine & be cool. Elango thatha & Viji patti came. So go inside & have fun with them".
Yes ... They are my close friends.... They would surely understand me....
Thank you so much for your words my dear parents. It gives strength to me.
Let me hope for the best.
